What is meditation? What is loving-kindness meditation?

by Feb 4, 2022Buddhism2 comments

What is Meditation, as we say, helps in achieving peace of mind thereby alleviating the conflicting emotions within a person which often give rise to suffering. In meditation, we concentrate on our thoughts while simultaneously focussing on an anchor that helps us in keeping in the present. For example, very often we focus on our breath of ours during the process of meditation. In this process of inhalation and exhalation, we notice how our thoughts come and go along with our feelings and emotions.

Meditation: Introduction

“The thing about meditation is you become more and more you.” 

 David Lynch

When we keep on thinking about it thereby dragging ourselves deep into these squabbles of emotions, we bring back our attention to anchor. This is how we regulate ourselves through the process of meditation.

What is meditation
Peaceful meditation

What Is Meditation?

Meditation in actuality is a technique and a tool to transform and cultivate the mind used in spiritual practices. Meditation is like cultivating a garden. By cultivating a garden, we mean the protection of the garden from the encroaching, pre-existing weeds and replacing them with the beautiful plants in our process of making the garden into a very well-tended garden. A well-tended garden is serene and joyful by nature. Likewise, our mind is similar to that of the garden.

During meditation, we investigate ourselves deeply. In doing so, we normally reach three conclusive points.

All thoughts, feelings, and emotions are impermanent by nature.

There is no fixed or solid self for us to witness.

We always tend to be in a state of dissatisfaction that we seem to be running away from the sufferings

Here it is important to acknowledge that the sufferings being adorned on us have mostly been influenced by the environment in which we are thriving. What we should and what we shouldn’t have also been dictated by the environment too. To some extent, it also influences how we feel and think. 

Such an untrained mind that is always in pursuit of pleasures is compared to the swinging of a monkey from one branch to another branch is often referred to as the Monkey Mind. It can also be rightly said that the mental state of a person is the reflection of the surrounding in which the person lives.

Meditation allows us in having a guarded gate at the door of our mental state. This helps in consenting which all thoughts to pass by and which all shouldn’t like the weeds in a garden, all those thoughts which could incite negative emotions within you can be put to an end through the meditation process. But in the absence of such a barrier like the guarded gate, the evil thoughts in the form of greed, jealousy, and hate could barge in. this is where the meditation could come in crucially.

Loving Kindness Meditation

“In meditation we discover our inherent restlessness. Sometimes we get up and leave. Sometimes we sit there but our bodies wiggle and squirm and our minds go far away. This can be so uncomfortable that we feel’s it’s impossible to stay. Yet this feeling can teach us not just about ourselves but what it is to be human…we really don’t want to stay with the nakedness of our present experience. It goes against the grain to stay present.

These are the times when only gentleness and a sense of humor can give us the strength to settle down…so whenever we wander off, we gently encourage ourselves to “stay” and settle down. Are we experiencing restlessness? Stay! Are fear and loathing out of control? Stay! Aching knees and throbbing back? Stay! What’s for lunch? Stay! I can’t stand this another minute! Stay!”

Pema Chödrön, The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

Metta Bhavana, the original name of this practice has originated from the Pali language in which Metta means love in a spiritual way and Bhavana means development or cultivation. This practice should come in the form of five stages which are crucial from their own aspect in the development of friendliness, kindness within oneself.

loving kindness meditation
loving kindness meditation

Loving kindness for self :

During the process of meditation, It is important noting that one should be in a very comfortable position either in a cross-legged position or lying down flat on your back with your arms at your side. By taking a few breathes, make your body feel calm and relaxed. We should be aware at this point that the anchor on which we are going to focus is our breath. We have to take the air in from our nose breathe deeply into our lungs, remove the air through our mouth.

As you continue the process, feel the energy settling down within your body and as you breathe in, feel your body becoming heavier and more relaxed. Allow the air to come in through the nose and go out from the body naturally.

With the continuation of this process, gently shift your focus on the breath to your heart by placing your one hand on the heart. As you do this say to yourself with all sincerity and kindness,

May I be well.

May I be happy.

May I be peaceful.

May I be loved.

Though this might be difficult for you to acknowledge self-love in this case. But you let this feeling of positiveness flow. With every breath, let these words of love flow from your heart to every cell of your body. Through this way, we can stimulate the development of Metta in ourselves.

Loving Kindness For A Close Friend Or A Relative :

In this phase, you will now call to your mind someone you care about, a family member or a good friend someone to who you have positive regards. You love spending time with and are comfortable being around. It would be more beneficial to say their name to feel their presence and imagine their visualization in front of you. This allows the loving-kindness to direct toward the person you visualized. With utmost sincerity, say this

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be peaceful.

May you be loved.   

As you these words, feel the joy and feel the flow of positive energies within you radiating towards the person you adore. With each wish, imagine them receiving it with love, kindness as it enveloped their body and spirit.

Loving Kindness For Humanity:

In our life, we all human beings are connected to each other directly or indirectly. This is the interdependence of our life. In this phase, think of someone who plays a particular role in your life but you don’t have a particular feeling for or against. This could be the person who served you the food in a restaurant or a cashier at the store. Imagine this person sitting in front of you and direct your loving-kindness towards them by saying again

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be peaceful.

May you be loved.   

By visualizing them in your feelings of metta, we reflect upon their humanity.

Loving kindness for opposition:

We are bound to be facing different people in our different phases of life. Some are in attune with our way of life who in turn becomes our near ones and some don’t who in turn become our opposition. For eg our enemies.

By trying not to entangle in these mixed emotions of hatred and jealousy, think of them positively. In this way, we can direct our metta to them as well by warmly saying

May you be well.

May you be happy.

May you be peaceful.

May you be loved.   

Though this might be difficult to understand, to forgive, to accept considering your past experiences of having some difficult time with the person you imagined and sending loving kindness in return. However, we shouldn’t be so harsh on ourselves. Just like these feelings had washed you over for long, you will slowly eliminate these feelings although you might struggle to do this.

Loving Kindness For All:

In the last phase, think of all the four people together- yourself, your close one, the neutral one, and the enemy. Then reaching out to all of them by radiating from you the loving-kindness to everyone around you, everyone around your neighborhood, town, country, and so on. In this way, we can send our metta in the form of waves to all the sentient beings from your heart by saying

May you all be well.

May you all be happy.

May you all be peaceful.

May you all be loved.   

Then gradually relax by loosening out your breath and body. This is how the loving-kindness meditation is being done.

Middling Stages of Meditation & Concise Stages of the Path

His Holiness talk on Loving-kindness Meditation.

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